Let’s Talk Tuesday: Can Men & Women Be Friends?
Can men and women be friends?
It’s a question as old as time and for a long time I thought the answer was pretty basic….HECK NAW! I would yell it till I was blue in the face, that women and men could not be friends. If you don’t believe me look at some hard core evidence…MOVIES! Movies like When Harry Met Sally further solidified the fact that men and women could never be friends. As Billy Crystal so eloquently put it, “the sex thing always gets in the way.” Sex and emotions can derail a “relationship” real quick.
But that wasn’t my only means for evidence. I had personal experience as well. In every relationship I had with a guy (excluding relatives and gay friends) somehow intimate feelings came up. Either he liked me or I liked him. Or he liked me and I placed him in the dreaded “friend zone” before he could have a chance. And we all know the friend zone is simply a relationship wasteland you wouldn’t send a real friend to.
I thought there was no way I’d ever be proven wrong, but three weeks ago my answer changed. I met a guy. The guy, let’s call him Jeremy, was a cool rocker type from Texas that lived in graphic t-shirts and button-up plaid shirts with a modern Beetles inspired haircut. From day one he seemed like a guy I could really be myself around. He’s easy to talk to, he’s courteous and doesn’t want to be a rapper or party promoter. He’s also cute. Sounds perfect, right? But I find myself not worrying about my appearance in front of him. I can eat spinach and not care if it’s in between my teeth. I don’t feel the butterflies in my tummy when I see him. He can talk about a girl he’s interested in and I don’t feel jealous in the least. Before I knew it was asking myself, “Could my male classmate and I actually be friends?”
The answer is yes. I believe that two mature adults can be friends, especially if the attraction between the two is admirable rather than desirable. This revelation WAS SO BOMB. I’ve been totally missing out. Chilling with a guy without the pressure of flirting is absolutely wonderful.
But I want to know what you think about this ancient old theory.