Our new contributor Khadijah found a personal lesson in that infamous fight between Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey. See what she learned and how you can apply it in your own lives.
When I first heard the news about a possible feud between American Idol judges Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey, I was highly amused—until I saw the actual video footage. While I wasn’t particularly fond of Nicki’s language, call me crazy, but I loved her approach. Watching her deliver that verbal tongue-lashing to Carey, I was reminded of all the many times I sat idle and let someone get the best of me. I’ve always been the nice girl, the quiet girl, the respectful girl…even when someone didn’t deserve it. My docile attitude led me to being abused in relationships, taken advantage of professionally, and disrespected within other interpersonal relationships. But I’m to blame. Being raised in a household where I was encouraged to do as I was told rather than express my own opinions eventually silenced my voice. As a result, I engaged in self-destructive behaviors.
It wasn’t until a counselor told me to “find my voice” that I began to make positive personal life changes. My first step was to overcome my shyness. Acting like a wallflower was pointless. I had to approach life’s obstacles from a different standpoint, which included respecting myself enough to know that my opinion mattered. Slowly but surely I began saying how I felt. Expressing my feelings enabled me to discover a newfound confidence that was deep within. “I’m worthy,” I repeatedly told myself. When a person actually values who they are, it creates a power that’s difficult to take away.
Oprah Winfrey once said “you teach people how to treat you.” I now require being treated with respect and nothing less than what I deserve. Minaj alleges that Carey constantly berated her. If that’s true, doesn’t Minaj have a right to defend herself?
When faced with conflict, how do you stand-up for yourself?